The last two weeks our friendly neighborhood blog post has been about the rule of the week. Each week at the dojo we focus on one of the Three Rules. Last week we worked on Self Discipline and the week before was Self Control. This week we are going to focus on Respect. The definition we use for Respect is: Treating others the way you want to be treated.
Set the standard
With the previous weeks we gave examples of dealing with the common problem of a child that interrupts or talks out of turn. We started with Self Control, where the child would learn to identify that they are doing it and focus on preventing it. In the Self Discipline week we work on a good habit to replace the bad one, like counting on a finger to help them remember what they wanted to say. This week is a good time to teach them how to correctly get the attention of an adult instead of blurting out what they want to say. The goal might be “Excuse me” or it might be “Can I tell you something?” An important part of this is mirroring the behavior with them. Saying to them the things you would like them to say to others. Most parent’s get the attention of their children just by saying their name. It’s simple and it tends to work. And it can freeze them in their tracks when they are in the middle of doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing. But if they are in the middle of playing a game or watching something on tv is a good time to teach them how to approach people.
Code 27
One thing that parents are commonly having to remind their kids to do is say thank you to all the various people in their lives. Normally the way this happens, the child has some interaction with an adult or role model, the conversation comes to an end. Then a parent says “Remember to say thank you.” Then the child is embarrassed to say it because they feel like it won’t count since they just had to be reminded in front of the person they are thanking. We had a parent that used a very clever system, Code 27. Here’s how it works, rather than saying “Timmy, remember to say ‘thank you.'” the parent says “Timmy, Code 27.” Then the child turns to the adult they are supposed to thank and says “thank you.” Now there is a secret code between Timmy and his parents, so Timmy feels special. Timmy gets a reminder that isn’t embarrassing, so Timmy wins. The parents get to teach Timmy to create the good habit, so his parents win too. Every part about this makes it work better and creates the behaviors we want to encourage children to have. I am really proud to share the secret of Code 27 for any parent that finds they could use it. We would love to hear other ideas you have for Code 27!
Have some things that have worked great with your kids? Or ideas for Code 27?
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Need ideas for a problem you’re having?
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